--Washington, D.C., United States
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Alan Keyes is Nutty, Part 317 The Chicago Sun-Times reports:
Well, of COURSE!! Nuclear weapons, what a wacky idea!! He's just talking about MACHINE GUNS! You know, fully automatic rifles and such. The idea being that the 2nd amendment says that citizens should be armed similarly to the military. So give them guns like this one!
Or even little purse-sized guns like this Uzi-style! See, it goes right over one's shoulder.
Only with proper training, of course. Training provided by...erm....proper training, definitely, definitely need proper training. From the Fully Automatic Weapon Training Gnomes of Limited Government. Yeah, that's it!
Ah yes. When in Israel, one is awash in feelings of security and peace. Walking down the street, taking buses, sipping coffee at outdoor cafes--surely, the presence of multiple uzis being carried by trained citizens (all of whom are veterans, remember) is a soothing balm of reassurance to the Israeli mind. (Non-sarcastic proposal: you know the "Hitler" rule of online discussion? When Hitler gets mentioned, the conversation has degraded such that there is nothing more worthwhile to be said. Should there maybe be an "israel" corollary, on using Israel as a sociological example of anything?)
Extremist Barack Obama objected to a messy little law that would have allowed people to use self-defense as a legal defense for violating local handgun laws. So in Chicago, say, if you own an illegal handgun, but use it in self-defense, you would be able to avoid prosecution for owning an illegal handgun. Surely, objection to that sort of change by a lawyer like Obama could only be grounded in ideological extremism, and not in how it creates a frigging legal MORASS out of already messy gun regulations. And, surely, taking the 2nd amendment to one of its interpretations' logical extremes by allowing citizens to carry the same weapons as soldiers is, comparatively, a moderate suggestion.
Declaring "the front line of the war against terror once again involves the citizens," Republican Alan Keyes said Tuesday he believes the U.S. Constitution grants properly trained private individuals the right to own and carry machine guns.
"You're not talking about giving citizens access to atom bombs and other things," the former presidential candidate said. "That's ridiculous."
Well, of COURSE!! Nuclear weapons, what a wacky idea!! He's just talking about MACHINE GUNS! You know, fully automatic rifles and such. The idea being that the 2nd amendment says that citizens should be armed similarly to the military. So give them guns like this one!
Or even little purse-sized guns like this Uzi-style! See, it goes right over one's shoulder.
Only with proper training, of course. Training provided by...erm....proper training, definitely, definitely need proper training. From the Fully Automatic Weapon Training Gnomes of Limited Government. Yeah, that's it!
Now, why would it be safe, and not scary as all get-out, to have Americans walking around with their own personal machine guns? You may wish to ask this of Alan Keyes. Well, someone has already done so:
"Have you ever been to Israel?" Keyes asked the reporter. "Because if you've ever been to Israel, you wouldn't ask that question. And in the midst of terrifying dangers, you walk around the streets of Israel and you see every other person carrying arms and Uzis and so forth and so on, and believe me, you do not feel less safe on that account."
Ah yes. When in Israel, one is awash in feelings of security and peace. Walking down the street, taking buses, sipping coffee at outdoor cafes--surely, the presence of multiple uzis being carried by trained citizens (all of whom are veterans, remember) is a soothing balm of reassurance to the Israeli mind. (Non-sarcastic proposal: you know the "Hitler" rule of online discussion? When Hitler gets mentioned, the conversation has degraded such that there is nothing more worthwhile to be said. Should there maybe be an "israel" corollary, on using Israel as a sociological example of anything?)
But wait, the best is yet to come:
Keyes made the remarks at a news conference he called to attack the "ideological extremism" of his Democratic opponent, state Sen. Barack Obama.
Extremist Barack Obama objected to a messy little law that would have allowed people to use self-defense as a legal defense for violating local handgun laws. So in Chicago, say, if you own an illegal handgun, but use it in self-defense, you would be able to avoid prosecution for owning an illegal handgun. Surely, objection to that sort of change by a lawyer like Obama could only be grounded in ideological extremism, and not in how it creates a frigging legal MORASS out of already messy gun regulations. And, surely, taking the 2nd amendment to one of its interpretations' logical extremes by allowing citizens to carry the same weapons as soldiers is, comparatively, a moderate suggestion.
