DREAM COLUMN... In my dream universe I have a column on the NYT op-ed page. Here's my response there to Sullivan, Brooks, and all the other Iraq hawks who are now acting surprised at recent events.


I TOLD YOU SO


CHICAGO -- I told you so.

I told you so but you didn't listen. Look who was right! Me. Not you. I told you so.

I told you so I told you so I told you so. You stuck your head in the sand and now you're bitching you got sand in your ears? How dumb are you??

I told you so. I didn't want to be right. But I was. Almost two years ago, I was. And you were wrong. Why? Because you're stupid. The truth was there for you to see before. You ignored it. I wished I could have ignored it, but I couldn't then, so I marched. Even though I hated Saddam too. And now--I'm right. You said so yourself. I told you so.

What made you think that people who have proven themselves to be incompetent leaders will suddenly become competent just because they say they are? Why did you believe them then? What did they ever do to earn your trust, to make you think they could conduct foreign policy without quagmiring us? I told you they couldn't. You thought I was being petty. You thought I just "hated Bush". I wasn't being petty. I hate Bush for a reason--this reason. I told you so.

What's that? Are you now gonna argue this is some sort of master plan to give the Iraqis an appropriate independence narrative, and we just needed to play the role of the bad guys? Funny how that rationale only comes out now, when things are messy. Anyway, even if so, couldn't we have gotten our troops some MOTHER FUCKING ARMOR? FOR THEIR VEHICLES? AND THEIR TORSOS?

We are talking about people who ignored the recommendations of the VERY PEOPLE THEY WERE SENDING TO FIGHT. They did this on basic cable. I know you saw them do it. You probably thought you knew more than generals about how to fight wars, too. Well, if you are so wise in the ways of war, I dare you to face the parents of the last American soldier to die in Iraq and defend your craven support of these idiots. I dare you I dare you I dare you.

I told you so.
¶ 9:28 AM